7/23/2015

Expressing appreciation for your Prayer


I want to share my story about Why I want to be a YAV and how my life's going in Denver during a year. My YAV year is almost to a close. I have only one month left before going back to Korea. It might be my last blog in USA.  Thanks for your prayer. That help me a lot for adapting to live in different culture well.
 
 When I was a freshman in college I was concerned about my calling. So I decided to serve on a staff in a youth camp during the summer because I met God in youth camp. I wanted to focus on Jesus and know God’s plan again. At this camp a pastor said to us “Give to God your year of twenty for tithe” – meaning when I turn 20 years old, I should give God the whole year. After camp I went on a few mission trips to Thailand, Laos and Cambodia. Through these trips, I learned many things. In Laos I was shocked about Lao people because they are happy even without God. Even though it was a different kind of happy, they seemed happier than me. I took some time to reflect on this. I believe in God, but sometimes I am not happy. I didn’t give thanks to GOD, I just complained to him. In Thailand, I thought deeply about what Mission is.  In Cambodia, I realized I can’t live without Jesus. He really loves me and he wants to give me a chance to know him. That helped me become more close to God through Mission. So I chose to give my year to GOD. I prayed about this since Jan 1. 2014, and after a month my Pastors told me about the YAV program in America. YAV has not been easy for me, because American culture and Korean culture is very different. But, the reason I have still wanted to challenge myself to live in America is because I really don’t do anything. Jesus does everything in spite of me because he is the master of my life. I just follow him. Even though we have different cultures and customs and languages, we have the same vision and mind that we love God. That will make us one. I didn’t want to miss this chance. So I told the YAV Coordinator Hye-young and Kurt. But becoming a YAV was not easy for me. For living in America, I needed to be issued a Visa. So all of the Korean exchange Yavs had to prepare for a Visa interview. But I was the only one that couldn’t pass the Visa interview. I was really disappointed because I am very hard on myself. The whole process of the YAV program has taught me so much about my character. I was refused the visa twice. That meant I wouldn’t be able to get a VISA for the year and I wouldn’t be able to become a YAV. I had one month before needing to fly to the US for the YAV Orientation and still I didn’t get the visa. So I was confused if God wanted   me to be a YAV or not. All my friends told me that it was not God’s plan for me. Other people suggested to do a mission trip in another country. But I didn’t want to give up because I was sure this was God’s plan for me. So I made an appointment with the embassy and I finally I got the visa for YAV. That was definitely one part of the YAV year that began to shape my character.
This year of service I have worked at three places. The African Community Center (ACC), Denver Presbytery, and Korean Presbyterian Church every week and weekend. At the African Community Center, I work for Refugees as an Assistant to a Case manager. I help refugees can get their SSN, Food Stamps and any other benefits from Government. Because lots of Refugees come here every month, the Case managers are overwhelmed trying to find time to interview the Refugees. So I organize all of the case files for the Case managers so they can see the files without mess and keep processing all of the things which the Refugees need to live. Working at ACC is sometimes hard for me, but I try to remember this Bible verse: “And whoever welcomes on such child in my name welcomes me.” –Matthew 18:5. Before working here, I had never known about Refugees and how they can adapt in a new country.  Until last year, I had only lived in Korea. Because I was born in Korea, I didn’t need any processing for being Korean. Also I can speak Korean so it wasn’t hard to do something in Korea. That’s why I didn’t know how hard it was for refugees to live in another country that isn’t their own. But now, after living in America, I understand their experience. I have also been adapting to the US. Everything was new so I was afraid of everything because of my English. I didn’t know how to get to my work place or how to pay money for taking public transportation. So I didn’t want to go out and I usually stayed in my room. When I visited the Bank with my coordinator, I got frustrated about everything needed for getting my new account. After that I cried a lot. And I have had many experiences that have taught me so much about the US. These experiences helped me understand and sympathize with Refugees more than I ever did before. I met some refugees when I started working at ACC. I even taught them how to get and use the Restroom. They can’t speak English at all. Though after a few months, I meet them again at ACC and they say hi to me naturally and they aren’t afraid of living here anymore. Like me, they have also had many experiences which include experience of failure and those things that make them more strong and adaptable here. When I met my supervisor at ACC, She asked me what my interests were. I answered that I like paperwork and organizing things. After 8 months, I had a time with her again for reflecting about my job. She asked this question again and I responded with the same answer. She was surprised about my answer, saying most people don’t like doing paperwork. I told her that is why I like to do paperwork. I have realized that paper has a lot of power. For example, if someone wants to do business with someone, they would need to make a contract. If they don’t write a contract and there is no evidence about this business, they can’t receive damages. So this contract is really important to them. Other paper work too. All the benefits from the government which Refugees can receive while struggling with money relies on paperwork. All the benefits depend on paperwork first. That’s why I like to do paperwork although it looks boring. Some people think paperwork is too small of a thing so instead of it they want to do something more important. But everything is important even small paperwork. Especially for Refugees. They can’t speak English and don’t know how to apply for things. It’s an important job for them. When I get to do the paperwork for them I feel really great.
 
 On the weekends I serve at the Denver Presbytery. One of my jobs is working for the Diverse Group. Three months in Denver presbytery held an Assembly.  Before the Assembly there was a Pre-Assembly for the Diverse Group. Usually we discuss how the diverse church can develop and solve some issues. I got to join this meeting and share my story of the Korean Church. Denver Presbytery gave me a chance to experience different worship styles of diverse Churches. So I visited each church and had a worship service all together. Last week my Supervisor and I published a “Children’s Prayer book” for the Diverse Groups. Another job I have at the Korean Presbyterian Church is that I assist the Pastor so he can focus on Sermon. I prepare all of the materials for the worship service and play the piano for worship. The first time, I didn’t like to serve at the Korean Church because I had served Korean church my whole life. I just wanted to experience the American Church. It was hard for me because it was easy for me to connect between the First Generation and Second Generation. They have their own Cultural things. First generation is a mix of Korean-American culture and Second Generation has American Culture. I don’t know about American Culture and also can’t understand how the First Generation has such a hard time here. And one thing that was hard was there was no Young adults around my age. After a month, I really struggled with homesickness. But with the love from the Korean church, I knew I could finish the year.  
The church has experienced some painful moments. Some church members have left, which is hard for the Pastors. My hometown Church was like this. Our church had also been separated three times, but the pastor made a new plan for the Church with the Church members. This Korean Church also has made a plan for revivalism with the new pastor and church members. I always enjoy working in the church. I’m majoring in Christian studies as a dual major. I usually had a time to serve in the Church with my friends. Also my university is a mission school, and I had a chance to work with the Chaplain Office and pastors during my university life. Living in Church is my life so I’m comfortable working in the Church. I have always been interested in working in the church. In Korea, working at the Presbytery or Church with the pastor is not something I am allowed to do. In Korea, only actual pastors can work in the church. Also there is a hierarchy of leadership which would keep me from being able to speak openly to my Pastor with ideas. But the Presbytery allowed me to do this.
 
 Living in a very different place is not easy, it’s hard. Sometimes I really want to go back to my country. Many times I have cried this year and been very disappointed in myself. But when I reflect on my year, God is always with me. He has changed my mind, thoughts, and also my character too. In Korea I was a lot more open with my emotions, but because of my lack of English it has been hard for me to share how I feel. For saying somethings, I need lots of time to make sentences that I want to say. But the extra time it takes me to think of what I want to say helps me be aware of others feelings too.  Also I learned about Community in Christ. I’m really excited to share these experiences with my new community in Korea. I have always tried to find what God wants for me. But still I haven’t known what God wants for me. But this work experience has helped me become closer to God and his plan for me. I have only 2 years left before I graduate from the University. I eagerly look forward to see how God is acting in my life.
 
 
 

12/05/2014

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.(Proverbs 16:9)


 
  Long time no see. It has already passed 100 days since I came to the states. Thanks to God for protecting me during those 100days and sending me great friends--Denver Yavs and Korean Yavs--who can share and understand about my journey. Especially, Because English is so hard for me. It's not easy to adapt in US, but my housemates and coordinators helped me understand about American culture, like a how they communicate with someone. And also thank you for my Korean Yavs who serve in other cities. Every day we share about what we did today, experienced in our city and teach us about American culture which they learn from their experience. Since I came to Denver, I did a lot of new things which I have never experienced with my housemates. Football, camping, Demi Loveto concert, plays, Columbus Day, a Mennonite Relief sale, trip in Mexico with Tucson Yavs, Hunger Games and Thanksgiving day with a Turkey Trot 5K. I had a great day in Denver.
  Before sharing about my journey, some may be curious about what I am doing in Denver. I participate in a Young Adult Volunteer program of PCUSA(Presbyterian Church USA). I live with 5 other people who also participate in this program with me. I serve in Denver Presbytery and Korean Presbyterian Church and African Community Center for refugees. With my housemates, we try to do something for justice and God. We try to be a light in the world and salt of the earth in here. And we also try to see God in the city.

 Now I want to share about what I felt during 100 days in Denver. That will help you to know about what people who are from another country feel about America. It maybe interesting to you.
First of all, I got a lot of culture shock but also not too much. When I and the Denver YAVs had an orientation in the mountain, we met other people who climbed the mountain like us. we didn't even know each other, but, we greeted and talked with each other so nicely.
1,One day I tried to take a bus to go to my workplace--that was my first day to take a bus in the US by myself--I was a little scared to miss the bus or take the wrong bus. A woman came to me and ASKed me where I was going, where I was from etc. At first I was taken aback by why she was asking me. But I responded to her that it was my first time to go to my work place. And then she helped me to get the right numbered bus and she encouraged me and gave me an angel coin. I was touched by the warmth from her. I like this culture. Sometimes I want to share about my day.
2. Also It's not normal in Korea TO BE A FRIEND WITH SOMEONE WHO IS OLDER THAN ME. A gap of 2-3 years is ok, but to Americans, age doesn't matter. To be a friend. in Korea, age is very important because of the custom: "Elders first."
3. The other thing is HUGE. When we say goodbye, we just shake the person's hand. But when I came to the states for orientation, everyone hugs me even though we have just met. In Korea this physical contact is allowed with my parents or someone who I am in a relationship with only. If you hug me in Korea people will think you like me as a girlfriend and if you have a wife or husband.... That is something you never do with a woman.
4. Also TOUCHING SOMEONE'S HEAD is normal here in the states but not in Korea. Touching of a head in Korea has two meanings: first means that you are cute or you have lovely eyes. This is for someone you love (but still not done often). And the second is when a teacher praises a student. The teacher says something and might touch his or her head. That situation involves the relationship between Teacher and Student. In Korea a teacher and student is not on the same level. So touching the head is allowed by those who are a high lever than me.
5. One of my favorite things is DECORATING. Every holiday like Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, etc. every house and store is decorated with gorgeous lights or table covers. I especially like printed napkins! And also, decorating my laptop or water bottle is amazing and popular here. This is unique but in Korean most people don't like to decorate their laptops or water bottles. We just like things that look simple. Stickers are not popular but sometimes table covers or phone/laptop covers. So some Koreans decorate their laptops with colorful covers.

 Second, I practice giving myself to God. In these past months I have really wanted to know what is real LOVE. On the bus going to my work place, it takes an hour and sometimes I am really tired and I sleep on my way to work. But each day I try to talk with God and listen to God and what he wants for me to say. Sometimes I focus on the nature of the people who are walking in the street.
 I don't like to make a mistake. I'm really strict person. That is both good and bad. That is one of the reasons why I want to be a YAV. I want to change the my life and my personality to be better for doing God's purpose. English is not my first language, so sometimes I really feel hard because I cannot communicate with them. It's not easy to say something about my thought. And because of English, even if it's very easy things like a paperwork or calling someone, its caused a lot of mistakes. At first, I felt greatly disappointed in my work, but now I'm used to making some mistakes, more comfortable when I have.
 We have a spiritual time on Wednesday night. Every week, a different YAV leads. When I prepared for this time, I watched the video about David's one desire. (Psalm 27:4) Nevertheless, David had all of the wealth, honor,and authority he could have, but he couldn't fill the empty. He finally came to the conclusion which is Psalm 27:4. [One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.] David really loved the LORD. So he wanted to live with the LORD all of his days. The reason we want to marry the person we love--that is because of love; because we really love the other person, so we want to live together and make a plan together forever. David's love for the Lord was like this. After reading this, I thought carefully about what my one desire is. Is it the same as David? I said No. I didn't love God as much as he did. Every day and to everyone I said I really love God, but my life is not like this. If we love someone, we want to know what he likes and also, we want to do things with them. We want to be just like them. But my life is not like how Jesus lived. I repented about my life. Now I want to be like Jesus. That story is why I focus on love in my life; Jesus loved every person even if they hated him. He said love sovereign. But it's not easy. Jesus did, so I also want to do this. It is a shortcut to be a light of the world, salt of the earth.

 I hope during the next 9 months, I will realize more about How God is leading my life for his purpose and how I can talk deeply with God in the messy situations.

Please Pray for me and Denver Dwellers and all of Yavs are always in God.
 
To YAVs. Sometimes life is not working right and we can disappoint ourselves, but please remember Jesus is only owner of our life. Only He can handle our life. Just believe in Him. He will do great things for you because he knows us and he really loves. Just follow Him and just see what He does in our lives. It is more amazing than we thin.